It’s been good talking with you. Do you mind if I stop by tomorrow?’ ‘I’m always here. If I’m not laying stone I’m either in the greenhouse…or swimming,’ I said, leering comically. ‘Fine,’ she said, smiling softly. ‘See you tomorrow…and thank you for the lovely orchid.’ The next morning, and every morning thereafter for a couple of weeks, Rachel stopped by with her dog, Thurber, and talked, each day spending more time with me as I dabbled at one or another project. Frequently, her presence was presaged by the arrival of Thurber, who would join me in the pool as I swam nude. Whenever this happened I quickly exited the water and pulled on my trunks, anticipating the arrival of the dog’s mistress. Rachel got me talking about my earlier life – and hers – which seemed to lift us both from our depressions, and we became friends…so much so that I planned my mornings around her arrival time. She was an adopted child, of Finnish descent, had grown up less than a mile away, and had been. Why would she ever consider allowing you any where close to her? Will she see, that you are there, because your heart won’t allow you to be any where else? Is there reason to believe, that she feels the same way for you? Can an on-line friendship develop into a long lasting relationship? Does fate possibly work this way? Is she as apprehensive as you are? Are those flutterings in her stomach from joy, or rejection? Has she spent time with you, because of pity, or just because she has some to spare? Has she finally realized, that she could do a hell of a lot better? How will you handle it, if she turns and walks away, disappointedly? Begging might help, but hopefully it will not come to that. If she sees you first, will she pretend not to? Does she know, that your being there, means you can’t go back? Will this just deepen the pity she feels for you? You’ve heard her voice, and fantasize her turning to you in the morning, to say wake up, but was that ever in the cards? Would she.
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